yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
