i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
zippers are such a cool invention
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize