let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back