I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.