Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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