I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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