I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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