My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
