Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
