i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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