Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
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i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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