A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
