i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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