We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
