He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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