I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
