i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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