if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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