Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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