he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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