I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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