East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I touched a dick in church today
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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