If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I party with great urgency now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize