But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
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He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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