a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
