I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
