We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize