He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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