Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
