2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
