Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
