There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
