Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
