I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
