He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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