this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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