I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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