I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
