Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
