Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
