For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize