giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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