I want to stick my p in your. b.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize