Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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