So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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