I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
