So gin and wine won't be happening again
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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