as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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