please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You can't special order awesome
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
