talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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