"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
