Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
