i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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