Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
