a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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