I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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