No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?