I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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