Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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