apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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