you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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