I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
